24 March 2017

Post #96

Tiny abodes, with significant other, absolutely fucking no.

Britt wants to get a luxury small house.

Things people say about their new tiny homes:

Janice:  It's 165sf but it feels really spacious! (As her ass is cuddling with the cupboard and her stomach is hugging the sink).
It's not spacious Janice, they might need an emergency crew to break you free from the prison that is your kitchen and release your husband.

Steven: I like the door.
That's fucking awesome, a door...you like a door?  Just the one?  Oh that's right, that's how many doors you have.

Bridget: The backsplash is really nice.
All 2 square feet of it?

Nancy: I love that I can sit in my master loft, the teak beam right through the center is really beautiful.
Yes, until it's covered in your hair and blood when you hear a deer fart in the woods and are startled awake. 

Fiona: The tapestry, I love the tapestry...what a great touch!
It's a fucking blanket on a wall Fiona.

Britt: We could buy one, yes?

Ripple fits, Bitch Tits has been evicted...and we are sleeping in grass which I am allergic to.

Needless to say, this is how I feel about miniature, made for ants, dwellings.

1000 square feet minimum,

Katie E, Eshelman

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