27 April 2015

Post #90


Back by popular demand...as in two people (My Uncle Littlefield and my cousin Arica) requested me to do so...I am going to attempt to start writing my blog again.  Writer's block is a fucking bitch, a bigger bitch than me when it's that time of the month and I am hungry.  So here goes...

Life has changed for me in a big way.  And this is what happened:

My sister found an incredible man many years ago and they decided to get married, she decided to move out of our home of seven years, and have a baby. That's right...I was abandoned by my sister and left for dead.

Just kidding, we all know I like to exaggerate.

I got to move in with my main squeeze and honestly could not be happier!

I got the cat in the sister separation.  So for those who are wondering, which I know is everyone, Bitch Tits has adapted well to the changes.

You're not my real mom!!!

All in all it's been a hell of a good couple of years.  I have bought more shoes for my about to be nephew than I have for myself.  My legs haven't seen the light of day for far too long, and have now been dubbed "Casper Sticks".  I have been told by my mother that my fridge looks like an "adult" fridge as opposed to a "college student" fridge...there is food, not just booze and condiments.  I am not happy that my beer crisper drawer is filled with vegetables...goddamn cooking and bullshit.  Not sure how I feel about that.

Work is as good as ever.  My Uncle Aric's fart machine provides many laughs.  Especially, when you are trying to sell a customer and they think you just shit your pants.

Parents are wonderful.  My mother is about to go full Yenta in October.  My dad is the same as ever, handing out gifts of wisdom and "good" jokes.

So, those are my updates as of now, I will try and keep this bitch updated regularly.


Katie E. Eshelman