16 May 2013

Post #85

It never fails, I see a roach and I flip the fuck out.  I hate them more than I hate the notion of non-alcoholic beer.  So the other night I calmly dismissed myself from downstairs, told my sister I loved her and all that shit and proceeded upstairs with a night cap.  That's when terror struck, it turns out hair ties can be terrifying.

Night cap fucking ruined!!!

That's right, a goddamn hair tie.  I'd like to think I keep my shit together under pressure, whelp, not when it comes to roaches.  Fuck that shit.  Needless to say the hair band was dead.  As dead as the penny my sister assassinated the shit-out-of, some time ago. I'll never forget when she admitted to it, I laughed my ass off.  The way she tells it, she tried to smack it with her shoe for a good minute before she realized it was just a harmless coin.  It seems that quite a few inanimate objects resemble cockroaches.

Side suggestion?  Never hang up an ensemble for a future date/gala/wedding/conjugal visit on your window curtain rack.  In the dead of night?  It will resemble a serial killer and scare the living shit out of you.   It can make for an extremely awkward 911 call.  In my case it could also lead to bedazzling said outfit with my forty-five.

Bugs can suck it,

Katie E. Eshelman


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