08 May 2013

Post #83

When I was a kid, my mom and dad told me that I was born in the desert, raised by wolves, and found under a cactus.  My mom also told me she was an alien. They thought it was damn hilarious until my 2nd grade teacher called an emergency meeting.  This was after I told the entire classroom I was essentially a human wolf being raised by extraterrestrials.  That had to be a fun conversation for them. However, I do think this shaped a portion of my adult life.  I still believe I might have been raised in the wild for a brief period of time, it would explain a few of my finely tuned instincts.  For example my innate ability to sense when danger is approaching.  When I am drinking at a bar/party?  It's uncanny, I know the exact moment when I need to ditch the booze and return to the safety of my den.

A  fireball shot?  Fuck yeah!
And...I'm out!

My Irish Exits are one of a kind. The reason why I bring this story up is because of an incident that occurred last night, it reminded of my father's ability to weave a great tale.  I called him to ask a question and he was clearly just waking up.  After he somewhat answered my question and giggled for a minute, he then tried to explain to me that he was adopted...and in fact was actually a Native American Indian.  Holy hell.  I asked him why.  Oh yes, his facial features clearly pointed to this conclusion!  How could I be so blind!?  I reminded him this morning of his story and he immediately blamed my mom.  What?  Yeah, apparently she watches a bunch of "weird fucking shows" and when he dozes off they invade his brain.  I love my family.

Call of the wild,

Katie E. Eshelman

1 comment:

  1. Well, that explains the Unicorns...as well as the black panther sighting. (I know it was there. This fact is not in dispute.)