10 February 2012

Post #64

Superbowl Sunday.

Before I even started drinking...much, my sister and I decided it would be a fantastic idea to deep clean our fridge. Terrible fucking idea. Those shelves inside your Frigidaire?  Yeah, they are made of tempered glass.  As I gently cleaned the damn thing it decided to give up on life and explode in my hands.  Miniature pieces of devil ice everywhere!  I am confident that I will be pulling shards of that shelf out of the bottom of my feet till the end of time.  It kind of resembled this...


'Fffffuck....Shit"  (My sister's reaction was remarkably identical.)

Later that day, I drank like I was watching the game.  Turns out I chose not to watch the game at all.  Instead, I decided to purchase an absurd amount of "drinking mugs" off of Amazon. No fucking idea why, other than it seemed like a legit idea. 

It wasn't.

Bitch Tits pissed me off for no reason...aside from the fact that I am terribly allergic to her and got another bloody nose.  I decided to express my frustrations via a new dog tag.

"Love Your Pets"

Unfortunately, it didn't get here quick enough.  I thought my demands were pretty clear assholes! I felt it was an injustice.  So, I figured I would write them a stern letter that expressed my severe disappointment.  Turns out it was just a picture...

My work here is done.  

No animals were harmed so don't go ape shit on me.

'Snappy' means 'Now',

Katie E. Eshelman

No comments:

Post a Comment