My cleaning lady? Fired. Before everyone goes ape shit and thinks I am being a total asshole for having someone else clean my house, just listen. I hate cleaning, I would rather spend an entire day being forced to watch 'Hannah Montana' reruns while sober, and...yeah I have gone too far. In any case, I despise it. Well, my "technician of sanitation" pulled one over on me. I left my key under my door mat and I had my sister write her a check while I was at work (all standard operating procedures for the past couple of months). Got home and it turns out the "duster of nothing" had lived up to her name. I mean it has been a downward spiral since she first started. I used to come home and the place was as clean as a nun. This time? She used our goddamn spray bottle filled with water (designed to show Bitch Tits whose boss) to clean a few surfaces, I can only assume she used a straw and a weak set of lungs to vacuum as there is still shit all over the floor, and she cleverly rearranged my bathroom to make it look as if it were cleaned. Lies. Where the hell is my toothpaste?! I would have rather she jacked a piece of jewelry and left my place spotless.
I decided to become more artistic. Accordingly, I bought a paint-by-numbers kit and am well on my way to fucking it up.
I told my dad and uncle that when my masterpiece was complete I was going to hang it up in the office. My uncle promptly told me that if that was the case he was going to have his grandchildren make us a few pieces for the wall. Dick. I will update my progress after I go to Michael's this weekend and buy some legit paints and brushes. That's right, I am dedicated to my craft. Plus, I have a coupon.
Well look at that it's 4:02,
Katie E. Eshelman