I got a call at work Friday afternoon from my mother. I know, Earth-shattering news. She wanted to know if I had something to tell her. I was slightly confused until she asked if I was expecting. Expecting what...??? Oh motherfucking no I am not. Turns out a company called Similac decided to send this package to my parents house with my name on it...
|I will be nourishing nothing of the sort.|
I called Similac. I told the dude on the other line that my parents were f-ing pissed and questioning my virginity, also asked how the hell they get off sending this shit to random people?! He stuttered something incoherent and then told me that I was chosen from some fucked up database (my words not his) and I would be removed from it promptly. Thanks asshole. And holy hell mom, do you really think that is how I would tell you that I'm with child? Okay fine, maybe I would.
Zoshua has a new arch nemesis. Apparently, I have a cat cohort that is just as intent on screwing with Bitch Tits as I am. I have decided to call it Gingy, that's short for Ginger.
|"What the fuck is that?"|
Since I have to work on this lovely Saturday I am going to cut this short.
Shits and giggles,
Katie E. Eshelman