So I'm slightly hungover as my good friend Kate decided to throw a wine party last night that could have leveled a pack of Eshelmans. I was supposed to leave with a bottle of wine as a parting gift...yeah...I ended up drinking it there. What can I say, her nine foot couch looked willing and able to sleep with me. Why I felt the need to preface this before I moved on? I'm not sure, fuck it.
DON'T. Get pissed at the teller when you have overdrawn your account You are the dumb fuck who couldn't keep track of your money. Either make more or spend less. That teller behind the bulletproof glass (thank God for that) isn't the one who blew all your money on crack and booze. And yes, that is what I believe you spent it on. This based solely upon your attire and stench. Although, it is quite possible that it is based upon the fact that your crack pipe is peeking out of your back pocket.
DON'T. Ask the teller to cash your pay check in $2 denominations. Period. Way to passively aggressively say "Fuck You!" to the rest of world ma'am. I'm not shitting you it took twenty minutes for the lady in front of me to get paid. Absurd.
To wrap it up, I would like to give a shout out to the Chase Bank, Wells Fargo, and Bank of America on 44th street and Thomas. Your customers are the shit.
Katie E. Eshelman