15 December 2011

Post #58

Banking behavior that renders you an asshole.

So I'm slightly hungover as my good friend Kate decided to throw a wine party last night that could have leveled a pack of Eshelmans. I was supposed to leave with a bottle of wine as a parting gift...yeah...I ended up drinking it there. What can I say, her nine foot couch looked willing and able to sleep with me.  Why I felt the need to preface this before I moved on?  I'm not sure, fuck it.

DON'T.  Use the drive through ATM like a walk-up ATM. I am referring to the folks that roll up a good foot from the goddamn machine and then must park their car, open the door and get out to complete their transaction.  Hoof it to the walk-up you lazy bastards.  How in the hell can you not pull up close enough?  Find your depth perception and try again.

DON'T.  Get pissed at the teller when you have overdrawn your account  You are the dumb fuck who couldn't keep track of your money.  Either make more or spend less.  That teller behind the bulletproof glass (thank God for that) isn't the one who blew all your money on crack and booze.  And yes, that is what I believe you spent it on.  This based solely upon your attire and stench.  Although, it is quite possible that it is based upon the fact that your crack pipe is peeking out of your back pocket.

DON'T.  Ask the teller to cash your pay check in $2 denominations.  Period.  Way to passively aggressively say "Fuck You!" to the rest of world ma'am.  I'm not shitting you it took twenty minutes for the lady in front of me to get paid.  Absurd.  

To wrap it up, I would like to give a shout out to the Chase Bank, Wells Fargo, and Bank of America on 44th street and Thomas.  Your customers are the shit.

Deuces up,

Katie E. Eshelman

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