21 October 2011

Post #50

What the fuck happened this week...


I am not firing on all cylinders today as I got wine wasted last night.  However, I am pushing this out because I have ten followers that need to know.

True Love Update:  My dad fell out of bed a couple nights ago and my mom was awake when it happened.  She waited for him to moan it out for about five minutes before asking if he was OK.  Took him five seconds to blame it on her.  He was convinced she pushed him.  Talked to my mom and apparently she surmised from his sleep talk that he thought he was at the pool and the last thing he said before belly flopping on their wood floor was "Weeeee!"  Two days after the fact, my dad asked me if my mom had taken responsibility for his "fall".  I told him her story and his response was a giggle (yes a giggle) and "Oh yeah, I do remember dreaming about being at the pool."  Case closed.

I figured out a new way to piss off Bitch Tits. I just put kitty treats on her back.

If looks could kill.  Too bad they can't Zoshua.  I win.

I found out my camera phone might be a racist prick.  I got my new Hadassah magazine in the mail.  Best cover ever...because it was fucking Blossom!!!  I had to take a picture so I could mass text all my favorite Jews.  I decided against that as this was the result.

Pinocchio?

Well, I suppose it's time to tend to actual work at this point.  The step machine needs shining and the grill needs cleaning.  

Toodles,

Katie E. Eshelman  

1 comment:

  1. These are fucking hilarious! What made you start a blog?

    ReplyDelete