In a world where love is fast and marriages are fleeting it's nice to know that my parents still got that lovin' feeling. I'll use the other night as an example. My dad calls me in a panic (he may or may not have had a few cocktails.) What follows is the gist of our conversation.
Dad: I think your mother is trying to kill me.
Dad: My guacamole smells funny and it's really green. I think she put antifreeze in it. I swear she is trying to poison me.
Me: Does it taste sweet?
Me: Dad, she didn't lace your guacamole with antifreeze. (Silence)
(Dad drops phone and call is lost.)
I promptly call my mother who lives with my father but is sitting in the other room...just to check.
Me: Is dad OK?
Mom: Yes, why?
Me: He says you are trying to poison him. He dropped his phone. Is he alive?
Mom: Yes, he is. No, I am not trying to poison him.
Me: He thinks you put antifreeze in his guacamole.
Mom: There is no antifreeze in the house Katie.
Me: Alright, just letting you know.
Two minutes later I decided to call my dad back.
Me: Dad, mom said she is not trying to kill you. She says there isn't even antifreeze in the house. I think you are imagining things.
Dad: No I'm not, something smells like poison. (Long pause) It might be my hair, I accidentally washed it with vinegar this morning and forgot to shampoo after.
Me: (laughing too hard to respond)
That is pretty much how the conversation ended as I couldn't breathe for a good minute or two.
The proud daughter of Zach & Jeri,
Katie E. Eshelman