Well, well, well. I found out that I not only look like a dude/lesbian when I go to work, I might also sound like one. It has now happened more than I would like to admit. I answer the phone at the office and the response is: "Zach?" This week it was "Zantz Eshbelnen?" (They were calling from the United States for sure.)
I made coasters from old, tiny, travertine samples and 3M felt skid pads. My Jewish mother would be so proud. She was the one who taught me to buy smugglers for the airplane. Fuck the stingy, wallet raping drinks that Southwest serves. Just buy the mini bottles of booze at Walgreen's and make yourself a double. They absolutely can and will go through security.
I found out about this video:
My sister left town. I told Bitch Tits she was never coming back. I promise you the fucking cat shed a tear. I explained that I was the boss and always would be. If I don't check in on Facebook somewhere or sometime tomorrow it means she successfully eliminated me.
|I wasn't kidding, she lost the will to live. |
Yes, that is a plastic bag. No, I didn't allow her to follow through.
Katie E. Eshelman