02 September 2011

Post #39

What the fuck happened this week...

I proved to my father that Febreze smells like old woman and musk.  I figured this would mean it had no place in our store.  He spritzed the shit out of our office...I quit.

I rehired myself.

Finished The 19th Wife, a fine tail of polygamy.  Accordingly, I figured out my Halloween costume for this year.  I need approximately five lady friends (one will need to know how to properly plait hair) and a dude to complete the look.

I played a drinking game with myself and lost.

I made an executive decision to bring a George Foreman grill to the office.  The AZFC Bar and Microwave is coming together nicely...we can now actually call it bar and grill.

Found out my sister's cat is secretly trying to kill me.  Woke up Wednesday morning and my door was ajar.  Guess who figured out how to open it?  I almost shit myself when I fully swung it open and saw Bitch Tits (this being the name I lovingly bestowed upon her) ready to pounce on my face.  Super happy I now have life insurance.

Zosh a.k.a. "Bitch Tits"
Don't allow a simple act of complacency to fool you.
This evil creature is guilty of attempted murder and breaking and entering.

Got background checked by my boss, thanks Dad.  My freshman year minor in possession is going to follow me till the day I die.  Which could be sooner rather than later...fucking cat.

That pretty much sums it up.  I feel like I made huge strides towards doing nothing important.

Happy Goddamn Labor Day,

Katie E. Eshelman

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