However, I'll be a kid at heart till the day I die.
Adult: I purchased life insurance.
Kid: Did you know you have to have a f-ing "doctor" ordered physical for that shit? You do. It started out nice enough...blood pressure and pulse. Then it went down a jungle-gym slide. I went ahead and giggled when the "nurse" asked me to take a piss test. When she told me I would have to pour said test into two tiny tubes? Well, I asked for a funnel...she was not amused. I also insisted I take off my flip flops to get weighed...just to annoy her a bit, it made a difference dammit! Blood test? I made her test both arms for the best vein, then told her not to miss. This resulted in a frown and what I believe to be an over sized, blood sucking needle. The whole examination felt like a damn DUI test. I am confident I aced it.
I'm a grown up: I have car insurance.
I'm a child: Apparently, going to use it and abuse it. Rental car damage is the shits...especially when your own wheels are in the shop for the same damage rendered.
Over the hill: I drink Spicy V-8 "One Whole Serving of Daily Vegetables". I care about the food pyramid.
At the bottom of a hill partying...unable to climb: The five out of the six cans consumed? I go ahead and add my own ingredients: salt, pepper, Louisiana hot sauce, Tabasco, Worcestershire, and Vodka.
I have a career: My work title is Operations Management Specialist.
I have a job: My prestigious position as, Manager of Bitch Work, allowed me to design my own business cards. Therefore, I could not be usurped when naming myself as such.
|I don't answer my cell phone.|
I'm rubber and you're glue,
Katie E. Eshelman
UPDATE (15 AUG 2011): Never drink the night before a blood test. Oops.