24 July 2011

Post #34

Cliffs Notes version of my last few days on Percocet.

Chapter #1:  Things that made me giggle:


Lisps.  Then there was this:

Rollin on dub.


My dad and uncle's conversation about bisexuality at the Stockyards:

Uncle Aric:  Now the cool thing to be is a bisexual.  No more metroseuxal, that's not good enough. 
Dad:  It's just what guys call themselves when they can't get a woman to sleep with them.
(I wish I could say it ended here, but this is the short version.)



Chapter #2: Things that made me frown:


No drinks for me.  I wasn't given actual Percocet, nay...Roxicet.  Ah what the hell, it did the trick.  


Chapter #3: Things I'm pretty sure I did:


Slept.  Solved a cryptogram.  


Whelp, I guess not.

Plotted out the most elaborate scheme ever to make money.  I think it had something to do with exercises you can do while confined solely to a bed.  I believe I even had the amount of reps and several positions locked down.  I then slowly realized there is something called sex, pretty sure I didn't invent that.  Crap, back to the drawing board.


Looked up pictures of kidney stones, then cried accordingly.


Chapter 4: Things I didn't give two shits about doing:  


Anything useful.  Aside from finding the stellar tortoise pic.



Conclusion:


To be completely honest I had to do a tailored version of these memories as I can't remember shit from the first day or two.  I clearly had some ups and downs.  I can't say that I look forward to the time when I will need these clever little pills again, but I can safely say it will be interesting.


The End,


Katie E. Eshelman

UPDATE (27 JUL 2011):  Oh holy hell, came home to a lovely shipment from Amazon.  Apparently, I managed to purchase Brazilian Butt Lift while totally out of it.  Stand by for further updates.


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