04 July 2011

Post #31

Today's writing is brought to you by my inability to sleep combined with my stellar channel surfing skills.  At exactly 3:47 in the a.m. I came upon an infomercial that left me saying out loud, in the dark, alone..."What the fucking fuck?  No goddamn way."  Folks I give you...


This is scary, I mean bone chilling frightening.  Next time you are out trolling in Scottsdale for a lovely little lady, let this thought stay with you.  Seven pounds of shellacked Mac makeup combined with fake boobs and the snap on smile will leave you wishing you would have had just ten more tequila shots.  Ten more and you would have been passed out on the bar room floor.  The alternative is this: 

You go home with her...

Yah right buddy.  How many beers have you had tonight? 



You wake up to "it"...

Thanks snap on smile!

I'm not sure if they still exist and it's been a coons age since I wore them, but I am 99.9% sure braces are still a viable option for fixing a fucked up grill.  I need a beer to wash away this entire blog.  Pennywise makes me want to piss myself. 

Happy Independence Day my friends!


Katie E. Eshelman

1 comment:

  1. I guess removable teeth is was the final phase. Padded bra's, push up bra's, fake tits, jeans that make your ass look better than it is, big sunglasses, and caked on makeup. It's ridiculous. I think I've woken up next to that clown before..

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