11 July 2011

Blog #32

Things a man should most assuredly know how to do:

-How not to pair socks with sandals.  Ever.  I really can't emphasize this enough.

There are absolutely no excuses.  Really?  You thought you could get away
with it because they are black and toe less.  Shame on you...and your leash.

-Drive a car with a manual transmission. Could also be akin to "driving" a woman who uses a vibrator...you better know how to do it without.

-How to use jumper cables.

-How to start a camp fire. With nothing but sticks and a rubber band.  (If you can do it with toothpicks and a g-string you win.)

-Drink bottom shelf gin without making a face.  There may be a day when you are forced to start that fire as you can't drive a four on the floor and are stuck out in the wilderness. You think there is going to be a spare bottle of Tanqueray Ten anywhere near? (If you were smart it would be in your trunk.) Guess what? You're drinking whatever comes out of the bathtub of the nearest house playing dueling banjos.  Smile and thank them accordingly.

-Always have a spare bottle of liquor on hand.  Ummmm...yah, I know I can go somewhere with this but I am running out of steam.  Hello ADD.

-How to fight a bear with your bare hands. Or a guy named "Bare" who just fed you bathtub gin. 

I will make a list for the ladies in due time.  It just seems natural for the guys to come first.

Firm handshake,

Katie E. Eshelman

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