03 June 2011

Blog #25

Why the fuck are these shows on T.V.?

1. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding:  Let me get this straight.  Definition of a gypsy: A member of a traveling people with dark skin and hair who speak Romany and traditionally live by seasonal work, itinerant trade, and fortune-telling. (Dictionary.com...shout out just in case they read my blog.)  Ok, this sounds legit.  However, the folks on this show don't travel...to be quite honest they just live in trailers and shit/urinate outside.  Dear "Travelers": your Great, Great Grandbubby might have hoofed it across the broad side of Europe but you have not.  You are no better than trailer trash.  As a matter of fact they win, as they defecate inside the comfort of their own shit hole.  In addition, you dress your little girls like whores/horrors...that's right. 

2. Say Yes to the Dress - Big Bliss: This winner involves larger women buying wedding dresses. Their biggest concern is finding a dress with a built in supportive bra for the front and the back. 

3. I Almost Got Away With It: Hey there buddy behind bars, saying you almost got away with it is akin to a woman saying; I almost came.  Gigantic. Epic. Fail.  Every episode of this show is filed under: worst story ever.  Reminds me of the incident where I fought the law, and hell...I Got Away With It.  Nothing beats being dismissed of all charges due to the fact I was being held "hostage" by the City of Tempe Police Department.  And I mean nothing.

4. (This refers to a particular episode, not the entire program) Gangland - Galloping Goose:
Way to come up with a hard gang name "Duck, Duck" and "Mother", you guys are clever.  I would have gone back to the drawing board with this one, or at least have gone with "Galloping Geese".  Entirely more frightening when more than one bird is involved.

Well my glass of wine is running low, my soup is burning on the stove, and a chilled Tequila shot is calling my name. 

Cheers my friends,

Katie E. Eshelman

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