28 April 2011

Post #21

Holy fuck.  If I see one more useless, blubbering, tearful article posted on Facebook about how silly it is to ask our President to produce his birth certificate because...wait for it...it takes up precious time, I am going to lose my shit.  He has had three years to produce this certificate.  It would take me three hours and I'm going to tell you how.

First Step: Call my mom and ask for access to her safe deposit box.  (2 hours, 30 minutes...thanks Officer Joe for getting her that much needed cell phone.)
Second Step: Drive to my mom's bank.  (10 minutes)
Third Step: Ask bank lady for access to safe deposit box.  (2 minutes)
Fourth Step: Sign up for a free checking account...I seriously need to work on just saying no.  (13 minutes)
Fifth Step: Open the safety container, ruffle through it's contents, resist urge to take my almost matured bonds.  (4 minutes)
Sixth Step: Put the bonds back and take my birth certificate.  (1 minute)

And there you have it folks.  I'm not even the President of a fan club and I could manage to get the thing in under a day. 

Side story: Just answered the phone at my office and it was my mom.  She wanted to tell me about the new alcoholic beverage for Jews. 


Wonder how much it costs...


Katie E. Eshelman

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