I rolled into the parking lot for my class a good fifteen minutes early. I knew Gene was probably already sitting there; waiting in anticipation to spew forth more intense, personal information. Therefore, I decided to sit back, relax, and bide my time till the exact start of class. Well fuck my life...I forgot my car's clock is five minutes fast. I walked upstairs and the hall was empty. I turned the corner into my classroom expecting it to be full. It wasn't. There she was...all by her goddamn self. That would make it just the two of us. Fuck, fuck, fuck. My ass didn't even have a chance to hit my chair before the onslaught began. So Gene, we are going to go ahead and try this again. Topics of conversation I am adding to your list and begging you to keep to yourself: your macular degeneration, the shots that are administered directly to your eyeball for said condition, the bath you took after going to Goodwill, and most of all the reason and method in which you want to kill people. Seriously, you threatened a tech support guy with a Tsunami. Bad form.
There is just one more thing. A little pronunciation lesson for you Gene. You own a Canon. You can't say it correctly...so embarrassing. You seem to want to pronounce it kah-nun. Can I assume you think it is short for the word conundrum? In any case, I have no choice but to call you out on your mangling of the word. I have provided a link with audio below to instruct you. Hit the audio button, listen, and learn.
I am officially ready for the weekend. It's Passover time and the red wine will be flowing. Things are going to get absurd.
Katie E. Eshelman