1. VW Bug circa 1998-present. You can't look cool driving behind the wheel of one of these vehicles. I don't care if it has been pimped out by Xzibit, that is unless he pimps it into a truck. Besides, we all know that if you are behind the wheel of this car it's because of your woman. There is a goddamn vase built into the dashboard. Man up. Tell her that there is no way any respectable man with balls would drive a car with an "I am a princess" license frame and smiley face bumper sticker. Then prepare for a fight.
2. Riding bitch on a motorcycle. This one is pretty self explanatory. It doesn't matter if it's crotch rocket or a Harley. Use an alternative method of transportation. A taxi, a bus, hey here's a thought...use those hooves you were born with and walk. Yet, if you do ever find yourself on the back of best bro's ride the most important rule is: never, ever let him give you his helmet to wear. Ever.
3. Mandals. Man sandals. We can all thank Tevas/Ancient Rome for this style fail. I will just provide photographic evidence and we shall move on.
|The man purse is just as offensive.|