31 March 2011

Post #9

My cousin Chachel inspired me to find a song of the day of sorts.  This song is pretty much in my top five.  I had forgotten about it.  (Side note: The whole reason why I recalled this bitchin' tune, that's right, will be explained.)  I can remember my dad singing this specific line for as long as my little brain can stretch itself.  "And when I die!!! And when I'm gone!!!"  I called him to ask what the hell the song was as I wanted to listen to it.  He immediately busted out in tune, as is his form, then he couldn't remember and asked my mom.  She immediately said (in her best East Coast, Jewish, mom voice) "It's Chicago!".  Fail. It's 'Blood, Sweat, and Tears'...enjoy my friends. 



"I can swear there ain't no heaven, but I pray there ain't no hell."

I don't plan on having a headstone, but if I did this would be my choice.  True to my form till the day I die ladies and gentleman.  Some have said I'm sarcastic...they just might be right.

May your night end well,

Katie E. Eshelman

P.S. The child to carry on won't be mine.  Just saying.

30 March 2011

Post #8

This post is a top three list of things I don't care to see on facebook. 

1.  Daily significant other posts.  Wow.  You love your super, duper wonderful gf/bf...congrats.  That post about how you are so excited to do something super important with them.  Like...I don't know?  Eat dinner.  Tell someone who cares.  Them.

2.  Pictures of sonograms. It's like posting a fucking picture of your mammogram for the world to see.  I'm really happy you are pregnant (thank God it's not me), but in all honestly I don't want to see the inside of your uterus.  I feel, the only time it would be acceptable to see the inside of you would be if you posted an X-ray of a really gnarly break. 

3.  Vagueness.  For example: pray for me, I'm devastated, in pain, frown face, etc.  For fucks sake this isn't a forum for twenty questions.  You'll get the requisite slew of "What's wrong?" and "Is there anything I can do?" (if you really have friends that care).  Then hours later after you've received enough concern, you will explain that you found out that the Backstreet Boys aren't making a comeback.  If you need my Jew prayers, help, or a shoulder to cry on...just tell me what the hell is going on.  I'll make the final decision if any of the above are warranted.

If you are offended, I don't give a shit.  Delete me accordingly.  I've already removed you from my news feed.  Therefore, I won't even notice.

Much love,

Katie E. Eshelman

Post #7

Since I already hit my work threshold for today, I decided to go through an old folder filled with various notes and useless shit from my time at ASU.  Well, I came across this gem of a note that was written to me by one of my classmates.  Wow.  I haven't changed a bit.  And why the hell should I?

Pursuit of education fail.

Happy Wednesday,

Katie E Eshelman

29 March 2011

Post #6

Bunch of bullshit.  That answer is correct.
Unrelated, I watched five minutes of the woman's basketball tournament at the bar today.  Five minutes I will never get back.  A blind, paraplegic, little boy could shoot better than those chicks.  Ugh.

Katie E. Eshelman

28 March 2011

Post #5.1

Next Door Lady:

Is there anyway you could move your bed to a different wall?  Any of the other three will work just fine.  I was trying to eat my dinner...you have officially made that impossible. 

All my best,
Your Slightly Horrified/Slightly Impressed Neighbor

25 March 2011

Post #4

Timeline of my day thus far:

7:57am - Wake up.  Realize the time and the fact that I should be at work in three minutes.  Call my dad, he doesn't give a shit.  Awesome.
8:30 ish - Arrive at work.  Check messages, check email, pretend to do work, do a little work.
10:45 - Dad arrives, with a Circle K bag...contents one bag of Dorito's and two bottles of "fresh" water.  (Don't ask.)
11:52 - The "fresh" water is consumed and an executive decision to go to TeePee for lunch is made.
11:53 - Fucking floor rep walks in the door.
11:54-12:35 - Floor rep annoys the fuck out of my dad and me.  And according to my dad...has checked out my boobs.  Lovely.
12:40 - Lock the doors.  Put a sign up that says "Estimators are on scheduled appointments.  Thanks, Management."
12:45 - Lunch.  Drinks.
2:26 - Back at office.  Checked messages...deleted messages.  Dad taking nap.  Me...well doing this.

Happy Friday,
Katie E. Eshelman

24 March 2011

Post #3

Can I copy and paste from myself?  Still trying to figure out where the hell to say this shit.  Is it now a quote?  Sure it is, it's been published.

"My mom just made a surprise visit to my house. I was listening to country, drinking wine (out of a teacup), and watching Gangland. She left confused and I feel she might have been a bit worried. It's all good mom. This is what I do."

Side note: Rogue, crazy ass bug flying around my house...time for me to switch to a plastic glass as this could get ugly.  Let the battle begin.

Cheers folks,

Katie E. Eshelman

Post #2

As I am cropping old pictures of my Grandad, I came across one that I had to share.  Due to the fact that not everyone gets my humor (total bullshit) I give this one to the blog.

Who do we think got passed up for a promotion...again?
I have got to say my productivity level for today is pretty much running at zero.  I think that it might have to do with the beers at lunch...but I can't be sure.  Back to fucking around with all these damn pictures as I'm sure as hell not going to be doing actual work.

Katie E. Eshelman

16 March 2011

Post #1

So as I struggled to come up with something clever/funny/brilliant to say, I realized that this whole blog thing would be tougher than I thought.  Therefore, I decided to just go ahead and tell a little about myself so as to explain what thoughts/ideas/rants/posts are to come.  In no particular order.

1.  I am a 27 1/2 year old Jewish woman...errrr...child?
2.  I like to drink. 
3.  I am sarcarstic.
4.  I work for my father, who at one point in time fired me (great story).  I work with my uncle.  I love my job?  
5.  I cuss.  A lot.
6.  I like the color green.
7.  I love Arizona (from October to March)...then I hate it with a passion.
8.  I have the most amazing mother ever.  She is why I am a Jew. 
9.  I live with my sister.  I quite possibly might be in a common law marriage with her.  I love her more than words can say.  She adopted a cat that I am allergic to...fucking brilliant.
10.  I always speak my mind. 
11.  Love my family.  My cousins are some of my best friends.
12.  Love football.
13.  Sometimes I talk too much.
14.  I hate bad grammar.  And bad drivers. 
15.  I have an extremely tiny attention span.

Katie E. Eshelman